Transition

I've been feeling a twinge of hope these days. My goal is to work a 30 hour work week. Right now I'm pretty much working half that. Half the work, half the pay. It's pretty self-explanatory I think. What's been difficult is the amount of guilt I put on myself. The other day I was talking to my sister about it and I was starting to wonder if there was something fundamentally wrong. Like I was some sort of total moron for not being able to handle my finances. Finally she said, "Mark, you're no different than so many people I know, including myself. The only difference is I know what I make each week and it's consistent." And she's right. I need to work more. Right now I have 3 to 4 shifts a week at the restaurant and that's no longer enough. So I've been out looking and I am confident something will blossom.

DJ-wise I have been totally defeated. I don't have anything solid at the moment and it gives me too much time to think and doubt that I can make it. Still, I have a gig at the end of the month and then a few in April (though they're in Laval and I have no idea how I am going to get there!)

My life feels a little crazy at the moment. I have no idea how the pieces are all going to come together. I've been really serious too this past month. I don't know what it is about Winter and February/March but I am not a happy camper. Maybe it's time to seriously consider living somewhere warm for the rest of my life. Maybe Sydney or New Zealand. Lately my mind has been thinking about California and San Diego. I need a beach!

Anyway, that's where I am at right now. It's not pretty I know. But I hope my honesty is some form of inspiration. I really do feel I am at the cusp of something though I don't know what yet. And even though I have some loose structures in place and some goals in mind I have to remember that life truly is one big adventure. Might as well have some fun while I'm on this crazy roller coaster right?