Wednesday, December 14, 2011

touching base

Weather seems a bit mild for December. It makes me worried that we're in for a pretty long and gruesome winter. We shall see. I've been taking lots of naps since all this grey weather tends to suck all my energy. I'm not a fan.

I've been trying to think up new Artist's Dates for the next couple of weeks. Me and my friend Billy have decided to tackle the book "The Artist's Way" which gets you in touch with your Creative Self. Along with weekly exercises there is an Artist Date where you take yourself out by yourself. So far I've seen two movies, gone on a few walks, procured a Library card and taken myself out to The Laurier for some amazing Fried Chicken and Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake. I'm thinking of taking a Swing Dance Class and possibly checking out a Jazz Bar during the Holidays.

I've been trying to avoid the shops as much as possible. During Christmas time the consumer frenzy makes me nauseous. Slowly I am succumbing to the desire to stay in and watch mind-numbing television for hours. I rented the complete series of Rome from the Library and even the Librarian asked, "Are you sure you're going to watch all of this dear?"

Money seems to come and go with a little more fluidity and ease. I'm playing this game to increase my monthly income and as of yet I have no idea how it's going to manifest itself. Bold actions and requests will need to be taken and made. I have a few projects I would like to do in the New Year that all are quite costly but may prove to be a wise investment. Let's see how creatively I'll be with my money over the next few months. I have no interest in doing extra work that I don't like to increase my income. But even extra Zumba classes and DJing can take its toll even both those things are my passion and career.

The idea of finding a boyfriend right now seems further and further from my mind. I've been enjoying this time getting to know me a little better. But who knows? Maybe now that I feel more secure in who I am, perhaps he's just around the corner. I'm expecting 2012 to be a year full of pretty awesome surprises...

Saturday, November 5, 2011

New York City - August



It's taken me a while to put up these pics. I wanted to go to New York all summer but wasn't quite sure how I was going to get there with my busy schedule. So when my sister and my brother-in-law said that they were heading to see some shows one weekend in August I jumped at the opportunity.

I had a goal for the weekend. To have a New York weekend I never got to have when I lived there. I wanted to have a weekend where I felt free from the burden of the hustle, where I wasn't worrying about how I was going to pay rent or how exhausted I felt from city-living.


I wanted to feel, even just for a weekend, that I was a New Yorker who could eat at a fancy restaurant and see a good show and go shopping. I wanted to appreciate the beauty that is New York City. And I am glad that I did. Enjoy the pics!



We got to New York City at one am. Amazingly, Anna and Jerome were staying in a Hotel three blocks away from my friend's place in Chelsea. By one-thirty I was at Clubber Down Disco at the Chelsea Hotel. Any party hosted by LadyFag (pictured above) is gonna be good.

The one and only Honey Dijon was on the decks.

And with these cast of clubbers I felt right at home. And why is it so easy to pick up boys in NYC?...










Ever since Sex and the City I wanted to have Brunch at Pastis. The following day we did just that and enjoyed a walk towards mid-town by using the Highline.

my sister Anna

Robert Hammond: Building a park in the sky | Video on TED.com







After walking along the Highline we finally made it into Times Square and then to Central Park. This was Jerome's first time in new York so it was great to be with him as he discovered the City especially since he loves photography and New York, among other things is such a photogenic city.







We grabbed some food at Whole Foods and sat in Central Park. While they took a bike ride around the park I decided to chill out on the great lawn and watch the people enjoying the warm weather. A moment like this was very rare when I lived in New York.


Anna and Jerome had some friends performing in to different Circus Shows. Traces from 7 Doigts de la Main is still playing at Union Square Theatre. It was great to see the show again. They also performed with some of the people who are in Zarkana, Cirque du Soleil's new show at Radio City Music Hall.






One of the highlights was seeing Fuerza Bruta. I didn't get a chance to see De La Guarda when I was living in New York so it was a treat to see this show.









It's hard for me to describe what New York means to me. That City still moves me. Montreal is my home and I am happy to be living here. But New York will always be a city that is big enough to hold big dreams. It's a tough place and it's not for everybody. But when everything come together like it did that weekend, New York is magical. Thank you to Anna and Jerome for allowing me to come along on their trip and to show them the New York I always loved. I can't wait to go back...


Saturday, July 2, 2011

35

July 2nd, 2011

as written on my Blackberry at 7am at Stereo:

What have I learned at 35?

Good music is more important than good drugs.

I am skinny and that won't ever really change.

My thoughts are not the boss of me.

There is so much I don't know but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. I can always learn something new.

Expansion is natural. Security is an illusion and working hard in order to feel safe makes my life small.

It's okay to say no just as often as to say yes. Saying no to something means I am saying yes to something else.

If I am suffering I am attached that life should not be the way it is in the moment.

I am a spiritual person and when I am touched by something I can cry if I want.

My life is a blessing.

Saying thank you enriches me.

Being vulnerable empowers me.

My life is invented and created and that's why I consider myself an artist.

I am better than no one.

If I am sad I am probably hungry or tired or both.

Being quiet and not talking sometimes is the best remedy.

My ego wants to be loved and gets hurt. But my ego is not me.

Smiling takes no effort.

I am proud of who I am.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

mid-January check up

Seriously, sometimes I need to stay away from Facebook. Lately when I find myself on there, having to do some Invites or creating Events or what not, I notice that I start to waste my time looking at what everyone is up to in their lives and then I start to get depressed about my own. Jim went to see The King's Speech. Lance is heading to Brazil. Brad got a great DJ gig! I start to worry that I am not very productive at all. These social networks are not always great for the ego.

When I am depressed, everything is up for questioning. Am I not cool enough to be a DJ? Why did she get that gig and not me? Do I suck? Is this the right city for me? Why don't I have more friends? It's endless.

So I'm trying to look at the reality of my situation.

I just got back to work which has been great. I really enjoy teaching Zumba and I am actually surprised I am continually growing as an Instructor. I am constantly curious about how to create a fun and loving space to dance in. It's been really fun.

I'm in the process of finishing a very short story that I am going to read aloud at a Coffee House next weekend. Writing is such a strange creative outlet for me that I am still trying to figure out. I find it so frustrating and draining at times and yet it can be the most rewarding. I'm writing short works of prose about my experiences as a dancer. It will be a mix of things that really happened and also fiction. I find if I stay too close to the "truth" it just blocks me creatively. I want to get to the essence of my experience as opposed to writing a true account of it. My goal is to have something self-published by the end of the Summer (wow, I can't believe I just wrote that down. It's like it is now real, I have officially put it in the Universe).

DJing has been the toughest for me. I just feel like I still am like the biggest loser DJ on the block, trying desperately to be cool. I think I need to bring a space of gratitude to this area because in so many ways I am really fortunate. I am truly a working DJ after all. Not a lot of people can say that and I don't want to seem ungrateful. I just know I still have a ways to go in my vision as a DJ.I really judge myself harshly as a DJ. And as I am writing this I notice how much I crave praise and acknowledgment from other people. It's like I cannot believe that I am a good DJ unless I am spinning at a club with a lot of people in it. Last night I did my regular night at Houston and two people asked for my card. I must be doing something right. I just have to continue to train myself not to listen to that little voice in my head that says I suck all the time.

And I am just starting to date and in the past month I have made new friends. Last week I planned a dinner out and I actually was surrounded by people I haven't known for very long. It's pretty crazy.

So as I am writing this all I can think of is that the Universe is working with me. The Universe is supporting me and wants me to have everything I desire. Things are moving, and they are moving exactly as they should be. But how I choose to see things is up to me :)

Saturday, January 1, 2011

what I wrote to M on facebook today.....

Happy 2011 to you too. My Holidays have been a bit wonky too I have to say. I've enjoyed the break in my schedule but it's put a bit of a strain on my finances.

I wasn't spinning but I did go out all night for NYE and hit three parties to support some DJ friends. It's tough admitting this without sounding like a bit of a drama queen but I felt a bit lonely. Surrounded by all these people and good music, I still didn't feel connected somehow. It's like I am still trying to be the cool kid wanting to fit in. Is it possible to be an anti-social DJ? Sort of a strange way to start 2011 ;)

I'm going to see David Morales at Stereo tomorrow night. Maybe that will be the inspiration that I need.

Wishing you health, happiness and abundance. Love you.

xoM