London 2012

I can't say I'm singing in the rain per say but I thought this was pretty fitting considering it's quite rainy and grey here. I left Montreal in the middle of a heat wave so it feels like I've jump started my Fall by being here. Thankfully I brought my umbrella but there is a bit of chill in my bones. I am slightly under dressed. So far my goal is to conquer this jet lag. Arthur and Ben live in Brockley which is only a few stops from the heart of the City's West End. Last night I surprised myself by pushing through the London rush hour to see Sweeney Todd. I read an amazing review about Imelda Staunton's performance in the NY Times (she was brilliant) and I was particularly happy to see Michael Ball in the lead role since I have been a fan of his since he was the original Marius in Les Miserable. The show was strong and dynamic with exceptional performances overall. Great way to cut through my fatigue. Grey and rain are great for Gallery walks but brain still lacks the clarity to soak in anything in a meaningful way. Despite my lack of direction (what am I doing here?) I have to admit it's refreshing to be away from my normal surroundings even though it's not a very relaxing choice. The pace of this place means the trip will go fast. Already by tomorrow I will have just a week left and my days are slowly taking some structure with possible club dates, shows and Zumba class(!)

I'm determined to fight the urge to do what I know and eat and shop at the same places I would in Montreal in order to feel safe and comfortable. It's a bit difficult now that every major city is starting to look the same. It was cool to have a coffee at The Crypt at St. Martin's. But my Starbuck addiction continues to be my anchor.

London Fashion outside the Lyceum

"because sometimes the first thing that needs doing on a trip to London is dirty laundry"

my flatmate

What's Blooming

This is one of my favourite times to be in Montreal. The Winter has finally dissolved and the city is all a bustle with primping and cleaning and planting to get ready for another great summer of non-stop festivals, concerts and fireworks. I love how these flowers are so rich in colour under a grey sky. They are so luscious and deep. What can I say about the past few months? The winter was manageable though I have to say it is still one of my goals for next year to be some place hot and sunny for at least some of the cold months. I did my best to remain active and positive and overall I'm happy that I made it with very little sinus, aches, sniffling and shivers.

A lot has shifted in my career. Over the Holidays I lost an important DJ gig which accounted for a lot of my finances. With the help of Daniel, my financial advisor, I was able to stay on track and turn to Zumba for more of my steady pay. It's been an interesting transition and pretty organic in a lot of ways. Through all of this it became even more apparent that my love of both Zumba and DJing both fulfill a basic need of mine and that who I am as a contribution is a space for people to be fully expressed through movement.

Two things I wanted to share about that before I sign off. Recently me and my partner Veronique Pierre created our first Zumba Party at an after-hours club in Laval. It was such a joy to see so many men and women of all ages and sizes fill that club with love, passion and energy. Some of those ladies were in their sixties and it truly was a powerful moment. I cannot wait to do it again. That same weekend I DJed at Sky in the Village. Sky Club Complexe is one of the oldest gay clubs here in Montreal. Through my whole process of losing my other DJ gig this really opened the door for me to take on other opportunities and now I am at Sky twice a month. There is such a rush when you're getting ready to drop a song and you have an idea and a hope that the people respond to it positively but you're not entirely sure. Finally you play the song and people go crazy! It's so awesome. I look out onto a sea of young boys and girls having fun with their friends or starting new romances and I can recall not too long ago how that was me. Even though I am in the shadows I can see everything. And for a moment, everything seems beautiful.

touching base

Weather seems a bit mild for December. It makes me worried that we're in for a pretty long and gruesome winter. We shall see. I've been taking lots of naps since all this grey weather tends to suck all my energy. I'm not a fan.

I've been trying to think up new Artist's Dates for the next couple of weeks. Me and my friend Billy have decided to tackle the book "The Artist's Way" which gets you in touch with your Creative Self. Along with weekly exercises there is an Artist Date where you take yourself out by yourself. So far I've seen two movies, gone on a few walks, procured a Library card and taken myself out to The Laurier for some amazing Fried Chicken and Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake. I'm thinking of taking a Swing Dance Class and possibly checking out a Jazz Bar during the Holidays.

I've been trying to avoid the shops as much as possible. During Christmas time the consumer frenzy makes me nauseous. Slowly I am succumbing to the desire to stay in and watch mind-numbing television for hours. I rented the complete series of Rome from the Library and even the Librarian asked, "Are you sure you're going to watch all of this dear?"

Money seems to come and go with a little more fluidity and ease. I'm playing this game to increase my monthly income and as of yet I have no idea how it's going to manifest itself. Bold actions and requests will need to be taken and made. I have a few projects I would like to do in the New Year that all are quite costly but may prove to be a wise investment. Let's see how creatively I'll be with my money over the next few months. I have no interest in doing extra work that I don't like to increase my income. But even extra Zumba classes and DJing can take its toll even both those things are my passion and career.

The idea of finding a boyfriend right now seems further and further from my mind. I've been enjoying this time getting to know me a little better. But who knows? Maybe now that I feel more secure in who I am, perhaps he's just around the corner. I'm expecting 2012 to be a year full of pretty awesome surprises...

New York City - August

It's taken me a while to put up these pics. I wanted to go to New York all summer but wasn't quite sure how I was going to get there with my busy schedule. So when my sister and my brother-in-law said that they were heading to see some shows one weekend in August I jumped at the opportunity.

I had a goal for the weekend. To have a New York weekend I never got to have when I lived there. I wanted to have a weekend where I felt free from the burden of the hustle, where I wasn't worrying about how I was going to pay rent or how exhausted I felt from city-living.


I wanted to feel, even just for a weekend, that I was a New Yorker who could eat at a fancy restaurant and see a good show and go shopping. I wanted to appreciate the beauty that is New York City. And I am glad that I did. Enjoy the pics!



We got to New York City at one am. Amazingly, Anna and Jerome were staying in a Hotel three blocks away from my friend's place in Chelsea. By one-thirty I was at Clubber Down Disco at the Chelsea Hotel. Any party hosted by LadyFag (pictured above) is gonna be good.

The one and only Honey Dijon was on the decks.

And with these cast of clubbers I felt right at home. And why is it so easy to pick up boys in NYC?...










Ever since Sex and the City I wanted to have Brunch at Pastis. The following day we did just that and enjoyed a walk towards mid-town by using the Highline.

my sister Anna

Robert Hammond: Building a park in the sky | Video on TED.com







After walking along the Highline we finally made it into Times Square and then to Central Park. This was Jerome's first time in new York so it was great to be with him as he discovered the City especially since he loves photography and New York, among other things is such a photogenic city.







We grabbed some food at Whole Foods and sat in Central Park. While they took a bike ride around the park I decided to chill out on the great lawn and watch the people enjoying the warm weather. A moment like this was very rare when I lived in New York.


Anna and Jerome had some friends performing in to different Circus Shows. Traces from 7 Doigts de la Main is still playing at Union Square Theatre. It was great to see the show again. They also performed with some of the people who are in Zarkana, Cirque du Soleil's new show at Radio City Music Hall.






One of the highlights was seeing Fuerza Bruta. I didn't get a chance to see De La Guarda when I was living in New York so it was a treat to see this show.









It's hard for me to describe what New York means to me. That City still moves me. Montreal is my home and I am happy to be living here. But New York will always be a city that is big enough to hold big dreams. It's a tough place and it's not for everybody. But when everything come together like it did that weekend, New York is magical. Thank you to Anna and Jerome for allowing me to come along on their trip and to show them the New York I always loved. I can't wait to go back...

some sexy beats

Sexy beats by Mark Vicente on Mixcloud

35

July 2nd, 2011

as written on my Blackberry at 7am at Stereo:

What have I learned at 35?

Good music is more important than good drugs.

I am skinny and that won't ever really change.

My thoughts are not the boss of me.

There is so much I don't know but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. I can always learn something new.

Expansion is natural. Security is an illusion and working hard in order to feel safe makes my life small.

It's okay to say no just as often as to say yes. Saying no to something means I am saying yes to something else.

If I am suffering I am attached that life should not be the way it is in the moment.

I am a spiritual person and when I am touched by something I can cry if I want.

My life is a blessing.

Saying thank you enriches me.

Being vulnerable empowers me.

My life is invented and created and that's why I consider myself an artist.

I am better than no one.

If I am sad I am probably hungry or tired or both.

Being quiet and not talking sometimes is the best remedy.

My ego wants to be loved and gets hurt. But my ego is not me.

Smiling takes no effort.

I am proud of who I am.

mid-January check up

Seriously, sometimes I need to stay away from Facebook. Lately when I find myself on there, having to do some Invites or creating Events or what not, I notice that I start to waste my time looking at what everyone is up to in their lives and then I start to get depressed about my own. Jim went to see The King's Speech. Lance is heading to Brazil. Brad got a great DJ gig! I start to worry that I am not very productive at all. These social networks are not always great for the ego.

When I am depressed, everything is up for questioning. Am I not cool enough to be a DJ? Why did she get that gig and not me? Do I suck? Is this the right city for me? Why don't I have more friends? It's endless.

So I'm trying to look at the reality of my situation.

I just got back to work which has been great. I really enjoy teaching Zumba and I am actually surprised I am continually growing as an Instructor. I am constantly curious about how to create a fun and loving space to dance in. It's been really fun.

I'm in the process of finishing a very short story that I am going to read aloud at a Coffee House next weekend. Writing is such a strange creative outlet for me that I am still trying to figure out. I find it so frustrating and draining at times and yet it can be the most rewarding. I'm writing short works of prose about my experiences as a dancer. It will be a mix of things that really happened and also fiction. I find if I stay too close to the "truth" it just blocks me creatively. I want to get to the essence of my experience as opposed to writing a true account of it. My goal is to have something self-published by the end of the Summer (wow, I can't believe I just wrote that down. It's like it is now real, I have officially put it in the Universe).

DJing has been the toughest for me. I just feel like I still am like the biggest loser DJ on the block, trying desperately to be cool. I think I need to bring a space of gratitude to this area because in so many ways I am really fortunate. I am truly a working DJ after all. Not a lot of people can say that and I don't want to seem ungrateful. I just know I still have a ways to go in my vision as a DJ.I really judge myself harshly as a DJ. And as I am writing this I notice how much I crave praise and acknowledgment from other people. It's like I cannot believe that I am a good DJ unless I am spinning at a club with a lot of people in it. Last night I did my regular night at Houston and two people asked for my card. I must be doing something right. I just have to continue to train myself not to listen to that little voice in my head that says I suck all the time.

And I am just starting to date and in the past month I have made new friends. Last week I planned a dinner out and I actually was surrounded by people I haven't known for very long. It's pretty crazy.

So as I am writing this all I can think of is that the Universe is working with me. The Universe is supporting me and wants me to have everything I desire. Things are moving, and they are moving exactly as they should be. But how I choose to see things is up to me :)