Thursday, October 15, 2009

It's been forever hasn't it?.....

some writing I did for a clothing line...

I keep thinking I’m trying to get somewhere. That when I have the right car, the right clothes, the perfect partner, the awesome loft with the amazing view of a beautiful city, that I will be a success. That I will finally, finally look at my life as a marvel and that people will see how accomplished I am. That getting into clubs for free, endless bottles of Champagne, private jets and beach parties measures my status in life, how well I am treated, how people see me. That somehow, all these things mean that I am a VIP in the world and that I command respect, admiration and maybe even a little fear. And when I arrive I will look at all that I have acquired and think, I’ve made it. And there will be nothing left to want or desire. Time is an illusion. While I keep looking towards my future to make me cool and reflecting on past failures confirming that I am not, I’m missing it. I’m missing the only thing that truly exists. This present moment. And while I think I am here, I am not. I’m lost in an idea that I cannot attain, so long as I am a slave to a fixed notion of who I am supposed to be in order to be Happy. And when I really sit in this moment, and really get that my life is an invention, a creation from moment to moment to moment, and that all I have is this cup of coffee, the laughter of my friends, the connections and contributions I make with the people around me, maybe, just maybe I’ll really finally get how awesome everything is right now, including myself.