Thursday, July 2, 2009

July 2nd 2009



Happy Birthday to me. What's going on you ask? So far I feel present to the paradox of things. Like I sense that I am busy, I have a lot on the go, and yet at the same time I feel like I am stuck. I've plateaued. Or maybe I'm just about to break on through to the other side...who knows?

I'm 33 now. What can I say about that? Time flies that's for sure. The other day I had my friend Mistaya's baby in my arms and I was staring at her thinking, "I knew you when you were twelve and now I am holding something that you grew in your belly for nine months". Mind blowing.

I'm going out tonight, most likely by myself. Steve Lawler and Audiofly will be spinning at Tribe Hyperclub.For anyone who has read the Artist Way I am considering this one of my Artist's Dates since I will most likely be flying solo tonight. It has been a real long time since I have gone out by myself. I'm kind of nervous and excited!

My world lately has been filled to the brim with work and with Landmark. My course has led me to take trips to New York City, Toronto and soon Ottawa. It's an amazing course and I am happy to be participating in it even though it demands a lot of my time and energy.

I'm tired! I have moments where I want to just curl up into a little ball and hide or run away somewhere, far away, M.I.A., escaping from my life....

But this is my life. The world around me is shifting, altering, changing, moving. I feel myself unraveling. I have no idea what I see or who I am to become. I have my suspicions that I am in fact, great, powerful, abundant, loving and charismatic. But doubt is an old friend I know too well.

Kicking old habits is tough! And I sometimes wonder to myself, "Am I where I need to be?" I don't know what's around the corner. But I am pouring a glass of champagne and toasting myself.

This is the year, the day, the moment where I declare that I am a wonderful, amazing, brilliant person. That I've been put on this earth to be blissfully happy and successful and wealthy in all sense of the word. This journey has just begun....